Yesterday was Kent's birthday. In honor of turning 28, I've listed 28 things I love about him. (Obviously I had to leave many things off.) Here we go, in no particular order:
1. He plays the best version of "Rocky Raccoon."
2. He always empties the dishwasher, because he knows I hate it.
3. He takes care of me when I'm sick and never gets frustrated with my whining.
4. He has infinite patience with little kids and they adore him.
5. If he's interested in something he jumps in full-force.
6. He doesn't believe there is anything he can't do.
7. He never complains that I make the coffee too weak.
8. He laughs at my jokes and at my blog.
9. He excels at every physical activity he does but he's not egotistical about being the best.
10. He likes my friends.
11. He likes my family.
12. He immediately makes everyone feel welcome.
13. He's masculine without being macho.
14. He has curly blond hair.
15. He lets me control the remote.
16. He never wears baseball caps.
17. He's more fun than anyone I've ever met.
18. He always remembers my birthday and our anniversary.
19. He's a great cook.
20. My cat loved him from day 1.
21. When we met he said he'd call the next day. I didn't believe he would but he did.
22. He never complains when I want to see a girl movie.
23. Yesterday was his birthday but he still took me out.
24. He always lets me know when he's running late.
25. He's pretty considerate, just in general.
26. He's extremely attractive.
27. He loves to teach people what he knows.
28. He plays the guitar.
I love you Kent!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
A how-to
Dear Fellow Whataburger Customers,
I noticed today that many of you appear to be having a bad day. The first thing that tipped me off was that, frankly, most of you were wearing sweatpants. I understand, as I also love sweatpants but the days I spend in them are days I also don't leave the house. So please let me give you my sympathies for whatever is giving you a difficult time.
With that said, I also noticed that many of you were very rude to the people taking your order. Some of you snapped at them when they asked you a question clarifying what you wanted to eat. One of you interrupted someone else's order because you didn't know your own order number (hint: it's the number on the plastic card you were holding). Almost all of you ignored tenants of common human decency, such as saying "hello", "please" and "thank you".
I imagine this might be difficult to believe but people that work in fast food restaurants are not actually robots. That means they have feelings and are deserving of consideration. Maybe you think that because they work at Whataburger they're below you and therefore you don't need to say "please" or "thank you". First, I would like to point out that none of the employees were wearing sweatpants in public so right there they've got something on most of you. Second, when you were taught manners they were actually for use in all situations. They just make the world a little bit sunnier a place so quit acting like white trash and use them. I will take this opportunity and point out that although you might not have been polite, all the employees unfailingly were.
The last point I would like to make is, even though employing your manners is appropriate in almost all situations, why on Earth would you ever be rude to or otherwise antagonize someone that's in the unique position of handling something you'll be putting in your mouth? If we're being completely honest, you should be lucky that I don't work there because the temptation of sabotaging your meal would be mighty hard to resist.
Also, your sweatpants make you look fat.
Cheers!
Maggie
I noticed today that many of you appear to be having a bad day. The first thing that tipped me off was that, frankly, most of you were wearing sweatpants. I understand, as I also love sweatpants but the days I spend in them are days I also don't leave the house. So please let me give you my sympathies for whatever is giving you a difficult time.
With that said, I also noticed that many of you were very rude to the people taking your order. Some of you snapped at them when they asked you a question clarifying what you wanted to eat. One of you interrupted someone else's order because you didn't know your own order number (hint: it's the number on the plastic card you were holding). Almost all of you ignored tenants of common human decency, such as saying "hello", "please" and "thank you".
I imagine this might be difficult to believe but people that work in fast food restaurants are not actually robots. That means they have feelings and are deserving of consideration. Maybe you think that because they work at Whataburger they're below you and therefore you don't need to say "please" or "thank you". First, I would like to point out that none of the employees were wearing sweatpants in public so right there they've got something on most of you. Second, when you were taught manners they were actually for use in all situations. They just make the world a little bit sunnier a place so quit acting like white trash and use them. I will take this opportunity and point out that although you might not have been polite, all the employees unfailingly were.
The last point I would like to make is, even though employing your manners is appropriate in almost all situations, why on Earth would you ever be rude to or otherwise antagonize someone that's in the unique position of handling something you'll be putting in your mouth? If we're being completely honest, you should be lucky that I don't work there because the temptation of sabotaging your meal would be mighty hard to resist.
Also, your sweatpants make you look fat.
Cheers!
Maggie
Monday, January 28, 2008
We took the plunge
As you no doubt remember from an earlier post, we've had a bit of trouble with our Audi. The oil pressure light came on and we took it to the dealership, only for them to run a $700 diagnostic to tell us we needed an oil change. Great! I really didn't want to spend that money on something else.
Anyway, recently the light's been coming on again. After much discussion where we agreed that we were facing at least $2000 in work we decided that perhaps we should look at other vehicles. After much research and even more procrastination on my part we decided that we'd look at getting a Toyota Prius. Our rationale was simple: with the amount and type of driving we do a Prius would give us more than twice the gas mileage we were getting from the Audi. This detail, in fact, meant that even though our car payment would be higher the amount we spent in total every month would be the same. Also we would then be able to walk around feeling very smug.
Anyway, Saturday afternoon we decided we would at least stop by the Toyota dealership. We weren't planning to buy a car. However, you can't go into a car dealership for anything, not even to use the bathroom or get directions, without leaving with a new car. At least that's what people tell me. One of the guys helping us was talking about what happened with his wife's Audi. At 90,000 miles the power steering failed and this happened and that happened. It was very tragic. I think he was making stuff up to get us to agree to buy a new car but it didn't impact us at all. Except to make me very glad the Audi was now going to be someone else's problem.
Another weird thing happened while we were there. This struck me as strange because usually car salesmen will say anything to get you to buy a car (or so I hear). The guy helping us (not the one with the Audi story) asked us how we felt about the Presidential primary. Warning lights start going off in Kent's and my head. He asked us if we'd heard about this candidate, "Uh, I think his name's Osama or something."
Pardonnez-moi?
Do you mean Barak Obama? Kent and I corrected him much more politely than he deserved. Then he starts telling us that Obama's been raised a Muslim. Now, first of all that's not true as you can read here. We told him that was an urban myth. We told him where could read that it was an urban myth. He started to get a little belligerent. Then he starts telling us that Muslims are trying to take over the country from the inside and that's why Barak Obama (or Osama or whatever) was running for office.
O-kay. That was informative. Way to be every negative Texas stereotype! Xenophobic, ignorant and rude. He almost lost our sale, and would have if we weren't pretty much finished with everything.
I find it baffling that he felt that it was OK to have that conversation with us. Up to that point we'd not mentioned politics at all. He'd never met us and had no idea what kind of people we might be. I mean, other than the fact we were both wearing shirts that said "We hate Islam!". I'm kidding of course. And what did he expect us to do? Whole-heartedly agree with him? Pull out our hoods and crosses?
I'm thinking of calling his manager to complain. I don't want to be a jerk but that is a completely inappropriate conversation to have with a customer and it made Kent and I extremely uncomfortable. Any thoughts?
Anyway, recently the light's been coming on again. After much discussion where we agreed that we were facing at least $2000 in work we decided that perhaps we should look at other vehicles. After much research and even more procrastination on my part we decided that we'd look at getting a Toyota Prius. Our rationale was simple: with the amount and type of driving we do a Prius would give us more than twice the gas mileage we were getting from the Audi. This detail, in fact, meant that even though our car payment would be higher the amount we spent in total every month would be the same. Also we would then be able to walk around feeling very smug.
Anyway, Saturday afternoon we decided we would at least stop by the Toyota dealership. We weren't planning to buy a car. However, you can't go into a car dealership for anything, not even to use the bathroom or get directions, without leaving with a new car. At least that's what people tell me. One of the guys helping us was talking about what happened with his wife's Audi. At 90,000 miles the power steering failed and this happened and that happened. It was very tragic. I think he was making stuff up to get us to agree to buy a new car but it didn't impact us at all. Except to make me very glad the Audi was now going to be someone else's problem.
Another weird thing happened while we were there. This struck me as strange because usually car salesmen will say anything to get you to buy a car (or so I hear). The guy helping us (not the one with the Audi story) asked us how we felt about the Presidential primary. Warning lights start going off in Kent's and my head. He asked us if we'd heard about this candidate, "Uh, I think his name's Osama or something."
Pardonnez-moi?
Do you mean Barak Obama? Kent and I corrected him much more politely than he deserved. Then he starts telling us that Obama's been raised a Muslim. Now, first of all that's not true as you can read here. We told him that was an urban myth. We told him where could read that it was an urban myth. He started to get a little belligerent. Then he starts telling us that Muslims are trying to take over the country from the inside and that's why Barak Obama (or Osama or whatever) was running for office.
O-kay. That was informative. Way to be every negative Texas stereotype! Xenophobic, ignorant and rude. He almost lost our sale, and would have if we weren't pretty much finished with everything.
I find it baffling that he felt that it was OK to have that conversation with us. Up to that point we'd not mentioned politics at all. He'd never met us and had no idea what kind of people we might be. I mean, other than the fact we were both wearing shirts that said "We hate Islam!". I'm kidding of course. And what did he expect us to do? Whole-heartedly agree with him? Pull out our hoods and crosses?
I'm thinking of calling his manager to complain. I don't want to be a jerk but that is a completely inappropriate conversation to have with a customer and it made Kent and I extremely uncomfortable. Any thoughts?
Friday, January 25, 2008
Good (?) morning
3:50 AM: Phone alarm begins going off to the tune of "Sunshine." Do not feel sunny. Consider drowning phone.
3:55 AM: Phone goes off again. Kent gets out of bed to go on his death march, also known as a battalion run.
4:00 AM: Phone goes off again. Kent says, "For God's sake Maggie. Turn off the alarm." I'm all too happy to comply. I reset the alarm for 6:30 AM.
4:03 AM: Unable to fall back asleep as am racked by guilt that Kent has to get up and go into the cold and I get to cuddle with the dog and cat. Consider getting up in a show of support.
4:05 AM: Back asleep.
4:15 AM: Kent kisses me good bye. I say something incoherent.
4:15 - 6:30 AM: Dream that I remodeling our condo. I'm pulling off the ceiling. Am having a great time.
6:30 AM: Once again alarm goes off. Consider getting up. Hit snooze instead.
6:35 AM: Snooze.
6:40 AM: Snooze.
6:45 - 7:00 AM: Snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze.
7:04 AM: Kent calls. Asks if I'm still asleep. Feel guilty and consider telling him that I've been awake for an hour. Decide to tell the truth since it's the right thing to do. Plus I still have froggy voice.
7:07 AM: Go to coffee maker. Look at it for a full minute. Realize I have to add water and coffee because no fairy has come during the night to do it for me.
7:09 AM: Coffee successfully started! Time to take a shower in order to wet down uncooperative hair.
7:09 - 7:16 AM: Shower. Begin to feel normal.
7:17 AM: Pour coffee. Congratulate self on not oversleeping until 7:30.
7:18 - 7:23 AM: Putter around. Realize that I must leave for work in 20 minutes. Begin to panic.
7:24 AM: Frantically dry hair as is too cold to go outside with it still damp. Give up.
7:25 AM: Search for outfit to wear. Promise self that on Sunday night will begin laying out clothes for the next day. Find something acceptable.
7:28 AM: Realize I must take dog to bathroom before I go. Sulkily eat a sugar cookie while searching for jacket.
7:29 AM: Remember that jacket is in car. Put on a sweater instead.
7:30 - 7:35: Dog runs around searching for a bathroom location. I stand in the freezing drizzle with wet hair. Consider selling dog.
7:38 AM: I call dog to go back upstairs. She just looks at me. Her expression clearly says "You can't really make me and I know it."
7:40 AM: Finally coax dog up to apartment. Realize she needs food. Feed her. Am too late for breakfast. Eat another sugar cookie. Console myself that at least it's not frosted.
7:47 AM: Gather up purse, sweater, laptop and coffee. Grab car keys. Remember that along with jacket I also forgot my housekeys in the car. Become even more irritated.
7:48 AM: Get keys, go back to apartment to lock door.
7:49 AM: Finally in the car! Ready to go. Can't find iPod.
7:50 AM: Locate iPod. Now I'm ready.
7:50 - 8:30 AM: Drive to work. Silently laugh at the woman in the car next to me with a curly mullet. Consider that I have half-wet hair. Stop laughing, as unfortunate hair can happen to anyone.
8:31 AM: Pull up to gate at work. Am stopped and asked to show ID by the same guy that sees me everyday. Show him my military ID. He apologizes for the inconvenience. Ponder if he stops people because his job is boring.
8:32 AM: Pull into work parking lot. Only two minutes late! Buoyed by success in my commute I dump coffee on my lap. Consider quitting work. Realize I will never look immaculate in manner of Posh Spice.
8:34 AM: Get to desk. Marvel at people that do not come to work with wet hair and no make-up. Consider asking them to give me pointers.
8:35 - 8:45 AM: Get computer started and delete the 107 junk emails in my inbox.
I could blog about the rest of my morning, with the internet going down and the tempermental fax machine. But it's getting a little tedious and I have work to get done so I'll just say if anyone has any ideas about how to convince yourself to wake up earlier I'd take them happily.
3:55 AM: Phone goes off again. Kent gets out of bed to go on his death march, also known as a battalion run.
4:00 AM: Phone goes off again. Kent says, "For God's sake Maggie. Turn off the alarm." I'm all too happy to comply. I reset the alarm for 6:30 AM.
4:03 AM: Unable to fall back asleep as am racked by guilt that Kent has to get up and go into the cold and I get to cuddle with the dog and cat. Consider getting up in a show of support.
4:05 AM: Back asleep.
4:15 AM: Kent kisses me good bye. I say something incoherent.
4:15 - 6:30 AM: Dream that I remodeling our condo. I'm pulling off the ceiling. Am having a great time.
6:30 AM: Once again alarm goes off. Consider getting up. Hit snooze instead.
6:35 AM: Snooze.
6:40 AM: Snooze.
6:45 - 7:00 AM: Snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze.
7:04 AM: Kent calls. Asks if I'm still asleep. Feel guilty and consider telling him that I've been awake for an hour. Decide to tell the truth since it's the right thing to do. Plus I still have froggy voice.
7:07 AM: Go to coffee maker. Look at it for a full minute. Realize I have to add water and coffee because no fairy has come during the night to do it for me.
7:09 AM: Coffee successfully started! Time to take a shower in order to wet down uncooperative hair.
7:09 - 7:16 AM: Shower. Begin to feel normal.
7:17 AM: Pour coffee. Congratulate self on not oversleeping until 7:30.
7:18 - 7:23 AM: Putter around. Realize that I must leave for work in 20 minutes. Begin to panic.
7:24 AM: Frantically dry hair as is too cold to go outside with it still damp. Give up.
7:25 AM: Search for outfit to wear. Promise self that on Sunday night will begin laying out clothes for the next day. Find something acceptable.
7:28 AM: Realize I must take dog to bathroom before I go. Sulkily eat a sugar cookie while searching for jacket.
7:29 AM: Remember that jacket is in car. Put on a sweater instead.
7:30 - 7:35: Dog runs around searching for a bathroom location. I stand in the freezing drizzle with wet hair. Consider selling dog.
7:38 AM: I call dog to go back upstairs. She just looks at me. Her expression clearly says "You can't really make me and I know it."
7:40 AM: Finally coax dog up to apartment. Realize she needs food. Feed her. Am too late for breakfast. Eat another sugar cookie. Console myself that at least it's not frosted.
7:47 AM: Gather up purse, sweater, laptop and coffee. Grab car keys. Remember that along with jacket I also forgot my housekeys in the car. Become even more irritated.
7:48 AM: Get keys, go back to apartment to lock door.
7:49 AM: Finally in the car! Ready to go. Can't find iPod.
7:50 AM: Locate iPod. Now I'm ready.
7:50 - 8:30 AM: Drive to work. Silently laugh at the woman in the car next to me with a curly mullet. Consider that I have half-wet hair. Stop laughing, as unfortunate hair can happen to anyone.
8:31 AM: Pull up to gate at work. Am stopped and asked to show ID by the same guy that sees me everyday. Show him my military ID. He apologizes for the inconvenience. Ponder if he stops people because his job is boring.
8:32 AM: Pull into work parking lot. Only two minutes late! Buoyed by success in my commute I dump coffee on my lap. Consider quitting work. Realize I will never look immaculate in manner of Posh Spice.
8:34 AM: Get to desk. Marvel at people that do not come to work with wet hair and no make-up. Consider asking them to give me pointers.
8:35 - 8:45 AM: Get computer started and delete the 107 junk emails in my inbox.
I could blog about the rest of my morning, with the internet going down and the tempermental fax machine. But it's getting a little tedious and I have work to get done so I'll just say if anyone has any ideas about how to convince yourself to wake up earlier I'd take them happily.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Huh.
Kent and I have not been really good about getting out doing stuff in San Antonio. We both think we probably should but between his exhausting school schedule and my general laziness we spend most weekend and down time at home hanging out with our dog. Over the weekend I though that we should look into remedying this. After all, we are in different city and should probably make some memories that don't include our television.
With that goal in mind I set to work this weekend to find things we could do outside our apartment. San Antonio has a few problems: first, there's simply not a lot to do besides the Riverwalk and the Alamo. We've gone to the Riverwalk and had one over-priced meal and several over-priced beers. (Before I quit drinking, natch.) As for the Alamo, we drove by it once and that seemed like enough. Seriously, my friend told me that it wasn't all that impressive. Maybe we should check it out though so that we can tell other people that and base it on first-hand experience?
Second, San Antonio, much like Denver, does not offer much in the way of museums. It's certainly nothing like New York City or Washington, DC. Not even close. There you have a plethora of exciting museums full of interesting things. Here you can go to the Witte Museum or Ripley's Believe It or Not! which I'm actually dying to see. The Witte Museum is the San Antonio equivalentof the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I enjoy the DMNS about once every two years or when they get a temporary exhibit that I'm excited about.
Anyway while perusing the Witte Museum's offering I noticed that they'll be hosting Body Worlds II for four months. I'm very excited about this. Kent and I saw Body Worlds in Denver and it was really great. For those of you unfamiliar with it, scientists use polymer impregnation to preserve corpses for anatomical display.
So, now we must go to the baffling thing that happened regarding Body Worlds. Over the weekend I was telling someone about the exhibit. Some of you might be thinking I was verbally bitchslapped by someone that finds Body Worlds offensive, which wasn't the case. I will interject here that was prepared for that however and navigated the situation in such a way that there was no need for the person to lecture me on The Evils Of Science and the Desecration of Corpses. (By the way, I respect that some people's religious beliefs forbid preserving/displaying the dead and that's fine but I expect them to respect that my religion doesn't and we don't need to argue about it. The end.)
No, the shocking part came when this person told me that she had never been to a museum. I thought she was kidding at first. Or that I misheard her. How is it even possible in this day and age to have never been to a museum? What kind of public school system do we have that children don't take trips to museums at least once a year? I don't mean to be dramatic but to me, that's completely incomprehensible. What are schools doing? Is there any concern for children who don't have many resources to get an education equivalent to a child with higher means?
And with that I'm going to go find a Department of Education building to throw rocks at.
With that goal in mind I set to work this weekend to find things we could do outside our apartment. San Antonio has a few problems: first, there's simply not a lot to do besides the Riverwalk and the Alamo. We've gone to the Riverwalk and had one over-priced meal and several over-priced beers. (Before I quit drinking, natch.) As for the Alamo, we drove by it once and that seemed like enough. Seriously, my friend told me that it wasn't all that impressive. Maybe we should check it out though so that we can tell other people that and base it on first-hand experience?
Second, San Antonio, much like Denver, does not offer much in the way of museums. It's certainly nothing like New York City or Washington, DC. Not even close. There you have a plethora of exciting museums full of interesting things. Here you can go to the Witte Museum or Ripley's Believe It or Not! which I'm actually dying to see. The Witte Museum is the San Antonio equivalentof the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I enjoy the DMNS about once every two years or when they get a temporary exhibit that I'm excited about.
Anyway while perusing the Witte Museum's offering I noticed that they'll be hosting Body Worlds II for four months. I'm very excited about this. Kent and I saw Body Worlds in Denver and it was really great. For those of you unfamiliar with it, scientists use polymer impregnation to preserve corpses for anatomical display.
So, now we must go to the baffling thing that happened regarding Body Worlds. Over the weekend I was telling someone about the exhibit. Some of you might be thinking I was verbally bitchslapped by someone that finds Body Worlds offensive, which wasn't the case. I will interject here that was prepared for that however and navigated the situation in such a way that there was no need for the person to lecture me on The Evils Of Science and the Desecration of Corpses. (By the way, I respect that some people's religious beliefs forbid preserving/displaying the dead and that's fine but I expect them to respect that my religion doesn't and we don't need to argue about it. The end.)
No, the shocking part came when this person told me that she had never been to a museum. I thought she was kidding at first. Or that I misheard her. How is it even possible in this day and age to have never been to a museum? What kind of public school system do we have that children don't take trips to museums at least once a year? I don't mean to be dramatic but to me, that's completely incomprehensible. What are schools doing? Is there any concern for children who don't have many resources to get an education equivalent to a child with higher means?
And with that I'm going to go find a Department of Education building to throw rocks at.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Thank you for not smoking
Some of you may not know that in Colorado, Kent and I are homeowners. If that's the case then you need to start taking better notes about our lives. Anyway, moving down to Texas presented some problems because we'd only be gone nine months and didn't want to (nor would we probably be able to) sell our condo.
Compounding this problem is that our condo, while very nice, doesn't have a washer and dryer. It's one of the upgrades we plan to make but we haven't had a chance to run the water lines or buy a W/D. To me this meant that we would probably not be able to find a mature, responsible renter since most adults refuse to live without a washer and dryer inside their house. By "most" I of course mean that I will not rent someplace that doesn't have that feature.
Anyway. So we were faced with the arduous task of finding someone to rent our place. In April we started thinking seriously about starting to find someone. To facilitate this we did absolutely nothing.
As luck would have it I went to lunch one day with a friend and was discussing our lack-of-renter dilemma with her. I was telling her that we'd done nothing to find anyone and surprisingly had no prospects. She asked what kind of person we were looking for and I told her that a single, employed, middle-aged person with no pets or active social life would be ideal. She didn't have one of those for me but she did have a single, 19-year-old brother that needed someplace to live right away. This seemed to violate my main rule: no one with an active social life that might want to have people over. TEENAGE people with no respect for wood floors or new carpet. However I did figure he was young enough that he probably hadn't figured out the whole washer/dryer thing yet so I grudgingly told her to give him my number.
The short version of the story is that he ended up renting from us but wanted to move in two months earlier than we'd orginally planned. Realizing that any other prospects would have to be found and there would be work involved with that my husband and I agreed to move in with my parents for six weeks. All I can say about that six week period is that everyone played nice and there were no murders.
As it turned out our renter is a considerate and well-mannered kid. He's very polite and assured me numerous times he would take very good care of our wood floors and newly installed carpet. He even promised to keep our house clean, to which I said I couldn't care less as long as we didn't return to find cockroaches in the cupboards.
I had only one rule.
Under no circumstances was anyone ever to smoke cigarettes in our house. EVER. He promised no one would, and that he himself wasn't even a smoker anymore. That reassured me immensely, but I still made him sign the lease in his blood. It's not that I didn't believe him it's just that would be the one offense for which I'd have to string a tenant up by their thumbs and beat them. I would really hate to have to do that.
I was forced to think about this over the weekend when we to some friends' house. See, they are renters as well as indoor smokers. I wonder if their landlord knows or cares? I know that I care when we go over there. I am actually surprised when anyone over the age of 25 smokes. I can understand smoking as a teenager in a misguided attempt to rebel but really, why keep doing after you turn 25? Don't you realize by that point your parents aren't complete idiots whose every wish should be violated? I mean, I figured that one out by 21 but I respect that some people aren't quite so mature. (If my parents are laughing now they need to shut their faces. Love you!)
Compounding this problem is that our condo, while very nice, doesn't have a washer and dryer. It's one of the upgrades we plan to make but we haven't had a chance to run the water lines or buy a W/D. To me this meant that we would probably not be able to find a mature, responsible renter since most adults refuse to live without a washer and dryer inside their house. By "most" I of course mean that I will not rent someplace that doesn't have that feature.
Anyway. So we were faced with the arduous task of finding someone to rent our place. In April we started thinking seriously about starting to find someone. To facilitate this we did absolutely nothing.
As luck would have it I went to lunch one day with a friend and was discussing our lack-of-renter dilemma with her. I was telling her that we'd done nothing to find anyone and surprisingly had no prospects. She asked what kind of person we were looking for and I told her that a single, employed, middle-aged person with no pets or active social life would be ideal. She didn't have one of those for me but she did have a single, 19-year-old brother that needed someplace to live right away. This seemed to violate my main rule: no one with an active social life that might want to have people over. TEENAGE people with no respect for wood floors or new carpet. However I did figure he was young enough that he probably hadn't figured out the whole washer/dryer thing yet so I grudgingly told her to give him my number.
The short version of the story is that he ended up renting from us but wanted to move in two months earlier than we'd orginally planned. Realizing that any other prospects would have to be found and there would be work involved with that my husband and I agreed to move in with my parents for six weeks. All I can say about that six week period is that everyone played nice and there were no murders.
As it turned out our renter is a considerate and well-mannered kid. He's very polite and assured me numerous times he would take very good care of our wood floors and newly installed carpet. He even promised to keep our house clean, to which I said I couldn't care less as long as we didn't return to find cockroaches in the cupboards.
I had only one rule.
Under no circumstances was anyone ever to smoke cigarettes in our house. EVER. He promised no one would, and that he himself wasn't even a smoker anymore. That reassured me immensely, but I still made him sign the lease in his blood. It's not that I didn't believe him it's just that would be the one offense for which I'd have to string a tenant up by their thumbs and beat them. I would really hate to have to do that.
I was forced to think about this over the weekend when we to some friends' house. See, they are renters as well as indoor smokers. I wonder if their landlord knows or cares? I know that I care when we go over there. I am actually surprised when anyone over the age of 25 smokes. I can understand smoking as a teenager in a misguided attempt to rebel but really, why keep doing after you turn 25? Don't you realize by that point your parents aren't complete idiots whose every wish should be violated? I mean, I figured that one out by 21 but I respect that some people aren't quite so mature. (If my parents are laughing now they need to shut their faces. Love you!)
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Quiz time!
I'm bored. Therefore you all get a quiz. You're so lucky, I hope you appreciate all this hard work I go to so you'll stay amused.
What is your salad dressing of choice?
Hidden Valley Ranch. Yes, I’m a cliché.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
How can I pick just one?
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
20% unless the service is really terrible. Then I leave 25%, since they’ll need it when I get them fired.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Bagels and cream cheese.
Name three foods you detest above all others.
Beef stroganoff, rice pudding and that’s about it.
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
As far as I’m concerned the only dish that exists is chicken and broccoli.
What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Black olives and mushrooms. It’s ok if you hate this. Of course it means we can't be friends anymore.
What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and cinnamon sugar.
What is your favorite type of gum?
The kind that doesn’t give me TMJ. Oh wait, that kind doesn’t exist.
What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Boring.
What is your screensaver on your computer?
I don’t have one, they bug me.
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
NO! What did you hear??
What kitchen appliance do you use the most?
The coffee maker. Begetter of sweet, sweet caffeine.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Teeth and a couple extra fingers.
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
I prefer to read when I go anywhere or do anything.
When was the last time you had a cavity?
Next time I go to the dentist, I’m afraid.
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
The cat. She’s pretty fat.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Not yet! Although when I was in junior high we used to play this horrible “game” where we made ourselves pass out. Oh to be young and completely stupid.
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Only if it were tomorrow. So I could hide from Death behind the couch.
How do you express your artistic side?
Interpretive dance and playing the lute.
What color do you think you look best in?
Navy blue and green. But not together.
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
Do I get a shank? Because if so then I would be Queen of the Prison Yard for at least two weeks.
If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Here’s the thing. Since I do live by society’s conventions (at least with regard to playing in the gene pool with relatives) I am incapable of answering this question with anything but “ew” and you're a pervert.
Have you ever saved someone's life?
No, but I've considered ending some people's.
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Yes, and then I would move.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Sure.
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Of course not. I have some standards. Sheesh.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Hm, I would have to ask Kent how he’d feel about that.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Never. Not even for $500,000.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
This is a no-brainer. I usually have to pay practically that much for the waxing. I think this is a question for guys.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
Er…I don’t know if I can do that. Is it tax-free?
Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Sure. I would just write about my life online. But it wouldn't be a blog.
What is your salad dressing of choice?
Hidden Valley Ranch. Yes, I’m a cliché.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
How can I pick just one?
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
20% unless the service is really terrible. Then I leave 25%, since they’ll need it when I get them fired.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Bagels and cream cheese.
Name three foods you detest above all others.
Beef stroganoff, rice pudding and that’s about it.
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
As far as I’m concerned the only dish that exists is chicken and broccoli.
What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Black olives and mushrooms. It’s ok if you hate this. Of course it means we can't be friends anymore.
What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and cinnamon sugar.
What is your favorite type of gum?
The kind that doesn’t give me TMJ. Oh wait, that kind doesn’t exist.
What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Boring.
What is your screensaver on your computer?
I don’t have one, they bug me.
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
NO! What did you hear??
What kitchen appliance do you use the most?
The coffee maker. Begetter of sweet, sweet caffeine.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Teeth and a couple extra fingers.
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
I prefer to read when I go anywhere or do anything.
When was the last time you had a cavity?
Next time I go to the dentist, I’m afraid.
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
The cat. She’s pretty fat.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Not yet! Although when I was in junior high we used to play this horrible “game” where we made ourselves pass out. Oh to be young and completely stupid.
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Only if it were tomorrow. So I could hide from Death behind the couch.
How do you express your artistic side?
Interpretive dance and playing the lute.
What color do you think you look best in?
Navy blue and green. But not together.
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
Do I get a shank? Because if so then I would be Queen of the Prison Yard for at least two weeks.
If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Here’s the thing. Since I do live by society’s conventions (at least with regard to playing in the gene pool with relatives) I am incapable of answering this question with anything but “ew” and you're a pervert.
Have you ever saved someone's life?
No, but I've considered ending some people's.
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Yes, and then I would move.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Sure.
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Of course not. I have some standards. Sheesh.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Hm, I would have to ask Kent how he’d feel about that.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Never. Not even for $500,000.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
This is a no-brainer. I usually have to pay practically that much for the waxing. I think this is a question for guys.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
Er…I don’t know if I can do that. Is it tax-free?
Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Sure. I would just write about my life online. But it wouldn't be a blog.
Some things aren't meant for public consumption
Just because you have a cell phone doesn't mean that every conversation is now appropriate to have in public. Apparently that memo wasn't given to the guy in the post office this morning. He would have irritated me regardless of the conversation he had because he had an extremely loud, booming voice. You know the "Hey! HEY EVERYONE! Look at me. I have a cell phone and I'm such a wanker I'm going to talk on it in line." You know the type.
Anyway, he decided that since he has this beacon of convience and mobility he should probably have a loud argument with his doctor's office about a procedure he had that insurance wouldn't cover. I couldn't tell if the profanities coming out of his mouth were directed at the person he was speaking with or the insurance company. However I did learn that he has some sort of prostate problem. So then I could look at him and think "I know you have an enlarged prostate" which is really a very odd thing to know about someone you aren't related to.
I'm not one of those people that hates all cell phones and thinks they should be condemned to the fires of hell. I actually find mine quite handy. However I am all for condemning people that misuse them to the fiery circles of hell. This includes people like my friend at the post office along with people that talk on their phones while they're being rung up at a store and people that veer around dangerously on the highway while having what I can only guess is a lively session of phone sex.
The man sharing inappropriate medical information in line reminds me of another story. For a long time I went to a pharmacy I'll call Rite Aid, since that's which one it was. I was almost always helped by "Beth". I dreaded dealing with "Beth" because there was something a little...off about her. I went in for months and she seemed to have some sort social interaction impairment. I actually sort of figured she had Asperger's Syndrome.
Not only did I not enjoy having to deal with "Beth" but it was also very difficult to get in and out of this Rite Aid. So when a Walgreen's went in right by my house (much easier to navigate) I thought about switching pharmacies. But I am a loyal customer and just because "Beth" was weird and it was a pain to get in and out of Rite Aid was not incentive enough to take my business elsewhere. Until one day...
I was waiting in line one day and a gentleman ahead of me was trying to pick up his prescriptions. He gave his name and good old "Beth" looked at him and said in her very robotic voice, "Are you picking up the Viagra?" Did I also mention that she had a voice like a foghorn? I was several feet behind the guy but I'm guessing that people across the store could hear her. This guy bent over and said in what I can only imagine was a low, embarrassed voice, "No, the Ambien." So now I know that you're impotent and can't sleep. How awkward. Of course it wasn't his fault so I looked at the ceiling and pretended that I was very interested in the lighting system. You know, rather than mocking him and calling him names.
That pretty much ended my days of giving Rite Aid my business. I marched myself up to Walgreen's and had them start filling my prescriptions. The end.
Anyway, he decided that since he has this beacon of convience and mobility he should probably have a loud argument with his doctor's office about a procedure he had that insurance wouldn't cover. I couldn't tell if the profanities coming out of his mouth were directed at the person he was speaking with or the insurance company. However I did learn that he has some sort of prostate problem. So then I could look at him and think "I know you have an enlarged prostate" which is really a very odd thing to know about someone you aren't related to.
I'm not one of those people that hates all cell phones and thinks they should be condemned to the fires of hell. I actually find mine quite handy. However I am all for condemning people that misuse them to the fiery circles of hell. This includes people like my friend at the post office along with people that talk on their phones while they're being rung up at a store and people that veer around dangerously on the highway while having what I can only guess is a lively session of phone sex.
The man sharing inappropriate medical information in line reminds me of another story. For a long time I went to a pharmacy I'll call Rite Aid, since that's which one it was. I was almost always helped by "Beth". I dreaded dealing with "Beth" because there was something a little...off about her. I went in for months and she seemed to have some sort social interaction impairment. I actually sort of figured she had Asperger's Syndrome.
Not only did I not enjoy having to deal with "Beth" but it was also very difficult to get in and out of this Rite Aid. So when a Walgreen's went in right by my house (much easier to navigate) I thought about switching pharmacies. But I am a loyal customer and just because "Beth" was weird and it was a pain to get in and out of Rite Aid was not incentive enough to take my business elsewhere. Until one day...
I was waiting in line one day and a gentleman ahead of me was trying to pick up his prescriptions. He gave his name and good old "Beth" looked at him and said in her very robotic voice, "Are you picking up the Viagra?" Did I also mention that she had a voice like a foghorn? I was several feet behind the guy but I'm guessing that people across the store could hear her. This guy bent over and said in what I can only imagine was a low, embarrassed voice, "No, the Ambien." So now I know that you're impotent and can't sleep. How awkward. Of course it wasn't his fault so I looked at the ceiling and pretended that I was very interested in the lighting system. You know, rather than mocking him and calling him names.
That pretty much ended my days of giving Rite Aid my business. I marched myself up to Walgreen's and had them start filling my prescriptions. The end.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Can't it please be over?
I'm practically the worst sick person in the world. I suppose a few people are worse than me but I'm pretty bad. So you can imagine how much fun I've been these last few weeks. The week before Christmas I started feeling pretty bad, worse than just a cold. It was different than a normal cold though, because just my lungs hurt. Then I got a fever. Good times. I'd been putting off finding a doctor down here because I never really go to the doctor. So of course I need a doctor now and I don't have one. I found an urgent care I could go to (which my insurance didn't cover) and the doctor told me that I had bronchitis. Yay!
I was sick with that for weeks. I was so sick when we drove back to Colorado that Kent ended up driving pretty much the whole time. I was still sort of sick when we came home a week later but I thought I was on an upswing. Then Kent got sick. Three days later I got his cold. That was last week. Now I'm finally starting to feel better again! But...this morning Kent woke up with pinkeye. I've never had pinkeye but I hear that it's very contagious. I'm afraid it might be next on my list.
I'm hoping that this week will mark the end of being sick, at least for a while. Cross your fingers for me that I don't get pinkeye. Yikes.
I was sick with that for weeks. I was so sick when we drove back to Colorado that Kent ended up driving pretty much the whole time. I was still sort of sick when we came home a week later but I thought I was on an upswing. Then Kent got sick. Three days later I got his cold. That was last week. Now I'm finally starting to feel better again! But...this morning Kent woke up with pinkeye. I've never had pinkeye but I hear that it's very contagious. I'm afraid it might be next on my list.
I'm hoping that this week will mark the end of being sick, at least for a while. Cross your fingers for me that I don't get pinkeye. Yikes.
Friday, January 11, 2008
A great day
Ladies and gentlemen.
Today is a monumental day.
This morning I was able to fit into my skinny jeans. Not only did they fit, I was also able to button them without looking like a sausage. I have not been able to wear these for a year so you can imagine how ecstatic I was when I realized they once again fit.
Full credit must be giving to abstaining from alcohol. If I ever needed motivation to continue my abstention this is it. I will willingly never drink again as long as these pants will fit me forever. Of course, I must also note other good things happen when you don't drink. Today though, the pants are key.
Now if I would only start exercising instead of watching three hours of reality TV every night.
Today is a monumental day.
This morning I was able to fit into my skinny jeans. Not only did they fit, I was also able to button them without looking like a sausage. I have not been able to wear these for a year so you can imagine how ecstatic I was when I realized they once again fit.
Full credit must be giving to abstaining from alcohol. If I ever needed motivation to continue my abstention this is it. I will willingly never drink again as long as these pants will fit me forever. Of course, I must also note other good things happen when you don't drink. Today though, the pants are key.
Now if I would only start exercising instead of watching three hours of reality TV every night.
Monday, January 7, 2008
A new start
Well how can I expect to maintain a readership when I never update? Seriously I have no excuse aside from pure laziness. But new year, new motivation. I hope everyone had a good Christmas. We drove home to Colorado to see our families. On the way there we did the trip in one day and drove for 14 hours. The last three hours from Pueblo to Lakewood were painfully long. I was sick with bronchitis, Kent's back was killing him from driving and we were hungry. The actual holiday itself was full of drama and fighting. I don't really want to get into it but I think next time we'd be better off to stay in a hotel.
We decided to do the drive home in two days and stayed in Lubbock on New Year's Eve. It wasn't too bad, we had a bottle of champagne and watched the ball drop in Times Square. We both made our resolutions and talked about how we wanted to accomplish them. I didn't make any resolutions last year and I sort of regretted it. Even though they're kind of silly the new year does provide a clean slate and a starting point for making improvements.
I only had one resolution this year and that was to take better care of myself emotionally and physically. I am almost incapable of really relaxing so that's the biggie for me. Just learning how to take deep breaths and not stress so much. I think I'm doing pretty well so far. The other resolution I made was to quit drinking for at least 30 (consecutive) days. I'm at a week so far and really proud of myself. I've already lost some weight, I'm sleeping better and overall I just feel happier. I'm not an alcoholic but, like everyone in my family, I drink too much. I don't want my life to be all about needing alcohol to socialize so I stopped. This weekend was hard because we were with friends and everyone was drinking but me but I resisted. That was definitely something to feel accomplished over.
I hope all you had a happy, healthy Christmas and New Year's. I promise my postings will be more frequent (especially since I finally got our home computer set up and no longer have to rely on my work laptop!).
We decided to do the drive home in two days and stayed in Lubbock on New Year's Eve. It wasn't too bad, we had a bottle of champagne and watched the ball drop in Times Square. We both made our resolutions and talked about how we wanted to accomplish them. I didn't make any resolutions last year and I sort of regretted it. Even though they're kind of silly the new year does provide a clean slate and a starting point for making improvements.
I only had one resolution this year and that was to take better care of myself emotionally and physically. I am almost incapable of really relaxing so that's the biggie for me. Just learning how to take deep breaths and not stress so much. I think I'm doing pretty well so far. The other resolution I made was to quit drinking for at least 30 (consecutive) days. I'm at a week so far and really proud of myself. I've already lost some weight, I'm sleeping better and overall I just feel happier. I'm not an alcoholic but, like everyone in my family, I drink too much. I don't want my life to be all about needing alcohol to socialize so I stopped. This weekend was hard because we were with friends and everyone was drinking but me but I resisted. That was definitely something to feel accomplished over.
I hope all you had a happy, healthy Christmas and New Year's. I promise my postings will be more frequent (especially since I finally got our home computer set up and no longer have to rely on my work laptop!).
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