It's hard to ignore the Duggar family. Between their frequent appearances on "The Today Show", People Magazine, and TV show on TLC they get a lot of media coverage. Lots of people admire their large family, the fact that they are debt-free and self-sufficient and the strong family unit they seem to have created. On the other hand, lots of people criticize them for having child after child. Every time Michelle Duggar has another baby people start asking, "Is 16 (or 17, or 18) enough for them?" This got louder after the precipitous birth of their 19th baby, who was delivered at 25 weeks via emergency c-section. Michelle Duggar almost died, as did their baby. Wouldn't this be enough for them? Wasn't God trying to send them a sign that they'd had enough?
To me, the worst are the people who not only question how many children they have but do so in an incredibly crass way. They make rude comments about the size of Michelle Duggar's vagina, or about what her body must look like. They say crude things about their sex life. They insult their religious beliefs. On a more practical level, they express concern about the toll that 21 pregnancies and 19 births have taken on Michelle Duggar's health and worry further pregnancies could result in Michelle's death.
Most of the harsh judgements seem to come from people who are young or at least liberal and pro-choice. Hey, that pretty much sounds like how I describe myself! (Although at almost 30 I'm quickly reaching a point where describing myself as "young" will result in raised eyebrows and patronizing nods.) I guess when you put your life out for public consumption you must be prepared for the public's judgement. That being said, I strongly dislike the judgement they face, particularly when the criticizers identify as pro-choice.
Full disclosure: I am pro-choice. I believe in birth control and that it's my right as a woman to control when I get pregnant. I believe that it's appropriate for me to decide how many children my husband and I are capable of supporting. I believe that, regardless of how I feel about abortion specifically, it's not my choice or anyone's choice whether or not a woman should continue a pregnancy. When it comes to other women's reproductive choices I can feel however I want it is not my right to decide what is right for another woman. That is something that is between her, her husband or partner, doctor, and God.
But here's the thing about being pro-choice: pro-choice isn't just about abortion. Pro-choice is about supporting a woman's right to make reproductive choices that work for her and her family. It's also about supporting her right to choose her job, marriage, family and life. The Duggars aren't on government assistance which makes their family choices even less relevant to the hordes of smug people that like to get on the horn to say how wrong they are. (And please, don't start with me about the overpopulation myth. The fertility in the U.S. is just over 2.06 children born per woman, while most of the rest of the Western world's numbers are under 2 children per woman. (On a simple level it takes 2.0 children per woman for population replacement.) The places in the world that have higher rates are pretty much across the board third world countries where many children may not even make it out of infancy. (The problems our world faces aren't from overpopulation but from overconsumption.)) You might not agree with the choice to have so many kids, but to say their choice is wrong, to say things that are insulting, go against the feminist principles of being pro-choice. We should be seeking equality to ensure woman are allowed to make choices about sex. their sexuality and their reproductive choices. Pro-choice women who talk about how terrible the Duggars are just as bad as the pro-life women who condemn women for choosing abortion. If you are truly pro-choice and truly a feminist then that means respecting the choices made by other women, even if we personally don't agree with them.
And I have just one word for the people who say ugly things said about Michelle Duggar's vagina and body: PATHETIC.
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