9 Things I hate

1. Staying at other people's houses
This is something I will not do if my house is less than two hours away. I hate to stay any place that's not my own bed. I didn't like slumber parties as a kid and once I was old enough to drive I saw no reason for staying somewhere else when my own, perfectly good home was not very far away. The only time I can stay in a hotel or with a friend is if I'm on vacation.

This quirk is particularly frustrating for my poor husband when we go visit his brothers in Fort Collins and he wants to hang out and just stay the night and I have a mini-breakdown at the idea of sleeping on a couch or someone else's bed.

2. Not having my own transportation
This is in keeping with number one. When I'm finished doing something, I'm finished. What most people fail to understand, and what precludes me from car-pooling, is when I say I need to leave I really mean: "I needed to leave 15 minutes ago and if we aren't out the door right this second a meltdown will probably ensue."

I blame both number one and two on an extremely sensitive threshold for over stimulation and not an overwhelming desire to be difficult.

3. This car






This is specifically the H3 model but I hate these cars in general. They're all over the place in Texas and I simply do not understand why. For one thing they only average 16 miles a gallon. I'm shocked it's that good. The only explanation I can come up with is that the owners expect they'll be engaging in urban combat if Mexico invades from the south.

Note: since the car's make is also slang for a certain sexual act, and since I don't want people perusing for porn to wind up here, I'm not including the name.

4. Any time someone calls me and doesn't tell me who they are
Unless the caller is Kent, my mom or my dad I can almost guarantee the first two minutes of the conversation will be me trying to determine who I'm talking to if you don't identify yourself. This is particularly vexing at work when an employee calls and doesn't give their name. However that does give me an excuse not to do what they asked.

5. People that give their babies "unique" names
One of the most cruel things can you do to a helpless child. I would like to say here that if your parents are from another country and give you a name that reflects that heritage I think that's fine. I'm speaking of three specific categories of names: normal names with unusual spellings, names that are made up or names that are "unique!". Let me tell you something, if the average person tells you your child's name is "unique" it means they think the name is repulsive and are too polite to say so. Here are some examples:

Normal name, stupid spelling
Kaytlyn
Krystynn
Jeweliegh
Myykil
And'Rue

Made up names
Jaarene
Shaquaila
Taniqua
Roneefa
Wadine

Unique names
Lamborghini
Ambria
Chance
Trinity
Heaven

At best, your child will be teased unmercifully. At worst you, and they, will look low-class and uneducated. Don't believe me? Just go here. And for the record? I spent some time working with troubled teenage girls that had most of those names so I'm not just making them up.

Also, don't name your kid Giovanni or Sergio. Those are just terrible, terrible names.

6. People that don't get it
Most of us have met people that fall into this category. It's difficult to define "it" but if they don't get "it" you definitely know what I mean. If you've never met one of these people, congratulations! Mostly like it's because you are among those that don't get it.

I work with a few people that fall into this category. It's as though we're speaking in different dimensions. It's almost funny in it's unbelievability. If you recognize it early though you can avoid interacting with these people as much as possible.

7. The following phrases
Once and a while
I could care less
A whole nother

Why do I hate these? It's because they're grammatically WRONG. Let's try:
Once IN a while
I COULDN'T care less
A whole OTHER

Please try to get it right. Thank you!

8. Music snobs
Please get over yourselves.

9. People that claim to not watch TV
I'm not sayin they're liars but I'm pretty sure they're lying

A how-to

Dear Fellow Whataburger Customers,

I noticed today that many of you appear to be having a bad day. The first thing that tipped me off was that, frankly, most of you were wearing sweatpants. I understand, as I also love sweatpants but the days I spend in them are days I also don't leave the house. So please let me give you my sympathies for whatever is giving you a difficult time.

With that said, I also noticed that many of you were very rude to the people taking your order. Some of you snapped at them when they asked you a question clarifying what you wanted to eat. One of you interrupted someone else's order because you didn't know your own order number (hint: it's the number on the plastic card you were holding). Almost all of you ignored tenants of common human decency, such as saying "hello", "please" and "thank you".

I imagine this might be difficult to believe but people that work in fast food restaurants are not actually robots. That means they have feelings and are deserving of consideration. Maybe you think that because they work at Whataburger they're below you and therefore you don't need to say "please" or "thank you". First, I would like to point out that none of the employees were wearing sweatpants in public so right there they've got something on most of you. Second, when you were taught manners they were actually for use in all situations. They just make the world a little bit sunnier a place so quit acting like white trash and use them. I will take this opportunity and point out that although you might not have been polite, all the employees unfailingly were.

The last point I would like to make is, even though employing your manners is appropriate in almost all situations, why on Earth would you ever be rude to or otherwise antagonize someone that's in the unique position of handling something you'll be putting in your mouth? If we're being completely honest, you should be lucky that I don't work there because the temptation of sabotaging your meal would be mighty hard to resist.

Also, your sweatpants make you look fat.

Cheers!

Maggie

Addiction

I find it supremely irritating when addiction is referred to as a disease. I would even go so far as to say that, at least at the moment, it annoys me more than anything else. Addiction is defined as "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma" while a disease is definted as "a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors". I do see how you could stretch your imagination so that an addiction would fit into the definition of a disease but I think it's inaccurate. I think calling an addiction a disease takes away the culpability of the user; it's not their fault! They're SICK! They have a DISEASE for God's sake! I think that is utter bullshit. A disease is almost never something that someone has done to themself. It's something that's been inflicted on them. I'm sorry but anyone addicted to a substance has a choice every goddamn day if they're going to put that substance into their body. Take some responsiblity and stop calling your addiction a disease! Have a little bit of integrity and own your choices. Even the bad ones.