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So brace yourself. This is going to be a long one and it's going to be a lot of baby stuff. Consider yourself warned.

First, here I am at 32 weeks:

No, I don't know if it's a boy or girl. Yes, I'm sure it's only one. No, I'm not ready for it to be born yet. (Those are the same questions I get over and over. I really love when people ask if I'm having twins. Seriously, I'm big but I'm not THAT big.)

Yesterday I went to the doctor and I've gained 24 pounds. Honestly I was hoping that would be the total I would gain but given that I've eaten pretty much whatever I want and I haven't done more than walk to back and forth to my car I guess that's not bad. I started the pregnancy with fatigue that never really went away. I felt a little more energetic in my second trimester, just like all the baby books promised, but only in comparison to how I felt in my first trimester. Now I'm tired all the time again. Oh well, it could be worse.

Today I was watching "A Baby Story" at lunch. Normally I detest this show but it was preferable to watching Kathie Lee and Hoda play some stupid Easter game. Anyway, the woman was having a ten-pound baby and was measuring 51 inches around. Since I have no life I thought it would be interesting to see what I measure. I'm at 39 inches. Of course, I had to congratulate myself on not being 51 inches and ALSO on not having any stretch marks. Then, because I think I was getting too smug, I went to the bathroom and saw what look to be baby stretch marks on my hips. Damn.

I have one final piece of baby news and then maybe I can start posting funny stuff again (maybe, no promises). My due date is May 30 and the baby will be here no later then June 1 or June 2. Here's the story. Kent is taking leave on May 25 and has to be back at work on June 6. He also gets 10 days of paternity leave but he won't be able to take that until July probably. Since I have a very understand midwife she's agreed I can be induced right after my due date even though the practice prefer to not induce before 41 weeks, 6 days. It's really a bummer, I SO do not want to have to be induced but even more I want Kent here when the baby comes. Maybe you can all send me positive energy for the baby to be born sometime between May 26 and May 30. Any earlier and Kent might miss it.

You might notice that I changed my blog layout. For some reason my blogging dropped precipitously right after I changed my template so changing it again might mean more blogging. Anyway, it can't hurt.

The baby stole my funny

There is an old wive's tale that baby girls will steal their mothers' beauty while in utero. I don't think I'm any less pretty but I do think the baby has stole my wit, humor and intelligence, leaving me basically stupid. I thought pregnancy brain was just an excuse to act like a dingbat but I am beginning to think it may actually be true. For example: I drive a black Prius. My parents have covered parking at their house but it's all reserved. Their neighbor moved and I routinely parked in her empty spot. One day I drove into their parking lot and prepared to take my normal space. I was confused to see a Prius already parked there. I couldn't figure out how my car was already there. It took several seconds before I realized that I was in my car and that there was apparently another Prius driver somewhere in the world. It would be slightly (ever so slightly) less embarrassing if that Prius was black too, but in fact it was dark gray. I certainly felt very stupid and am happy to now share this story with you for your amusement.

Bah

First things first. Here I am at just over 25 weeks. I know it's a little ghetto but I don't have anyone here to take my picture.



OK, I may have touched on this briefly in an earlier post but the reason I don't have anyone to take my picture is because in November, Kent was deployed. He's in North Carolina working as a respiratory therapist at the hospital at Fort Bragg. In case you have any funny ideas about trying to break in my house I'd like to let you know that if you try it you'll be looking down the business end of a shotgun (I'm not kidding). Anyway. It's been really hard to be apart even though I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. Of course there's the normal chore stuff I wish I had help with but I miss just having him here. When the baby moved for the first time and when I had my ultrasound at 20 weeks he wasn't here. It's sad for me and I know it's sad for him too. He should be able to come home before the baby is born at the end of May and stay for a few weeks. We're going to see each other this weekend and I think he's going to be surprised at how much bigger I am now then I was last time he saw me.

We don't know if we're having a boy or a girl. I decided I didn't want to know and Kent said that he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. At first I was sure it was a girl but now I sort of think it could go either way. I'm happy with a boy or a girl and I hope it's not asking too much to clearly be one or the other.

Upside down baby

Oh...my

I'm a terrible blogger friend. I know. I know. I have ohsomuch to write about but first and foremost, I'm sure many of you are wondering how I'm looking these days. Here I am today at 20 weeks pregnant:

I have many updates and pictures to come. Tomorrow morning, bright and early!

Random thoughts

A few things, in no particular order:

1. I saw "Twilight" today. I hope if they make movies of any of the sequels they use a different screenwriter and find a new Bella.

2. I'd like to thank the lady sitting next to me in the movie today. Not only were you rude when I tried to get to the empty seat next to you (what do you expect when you're on the aisle?), you also spent the whole movie saying, "What happened?", "Who's that?", and "What's going on?" This added to my experience unmeasurably.

3. I had a doctor's appointment on Thursday. I'm 13 weeks along and got an ultrasound. My baby has a head, legs, a hand I could see, a foot I could see, two legs and a strong heartbeat.

4. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat. We aren't finding out the sex but Kent and I and also my whole family and all our friends are convinced that it's a girl. I asked my midwife what the heartbeat indicated and she said a girl. Then she cheerfully added, "But since I've said that it's going to be a boy!" We'll be happy with whatever we get and I can't wait until it's born to find out!

5. I have purchased two pairs of maternity pants. They are still too big but far more comfortable than my normal clothes.

6. I no longer have morning queasiness but I am still very tired, suffering from acne and getting headaches. Also, thanks to all my mom-friends out there for never mentioning bacne. I was not expecting that one AT ALL. I hope that in the next week or two those things will pretty much be finished.

7. Last Friday (the 14th) I went to the New Kids on the Block concert and it was awesome.

Do you hear what I hear?

I'm covering for the receptionist while she's at lunch. The radio station she listens to is already playing Christmas carols. For some reason this does not make me feel cheery. It makes me want to break the radio into a thousand pieces.

A baby and other stuff update later today or tomorrow.